Tijdens een managementtraining, midden jaren 90, kreeg ik een stuk tekst in handen over het omgaan met professionele relaties. Het is geschreven door “T.G.”, de echte naam heb ik nooit kunnen achterhalen. Maar de tekst spreekt mij zozeer aan dat ik die zelf graag toepas en met u wil delen.
My creed for good relations
“You and I have a relationship which I value greatly and would like to keep. Nevertheless, we are different people, with individual needs which we have the right to satisfy. If you have difficulty in fulfilling your needs, I shall listen to you and make a sincere effort to understand them; my interest will help you to find your own solutions but you will not be depending on me to find them. I shall also try to respect your right to your own set of beliefs and values, even though they may be different than my own. However, if your behaviour should make it difficult to me to satisfy my own needs, I will tell you frankly that your actions bother me, trusting that you have enough respect for my needs and feelings to modify them. And if, in turn, you do not like some of the things I do, I hope you will be candid with me, so that I might try to change my attitude. Sometimes, if we find that neither of us can give enough to accomodate the other’s wishes, we should recognize our conflict and try to resolve it between ourselves without resorting to power or authority to gain the upper hand at the other’s expense. I respect your needs, but I must also respect my own. We must therefore always endeavour to find a solution acceptable to both of us. Your needs will be satisfied and mine as well – no one will lose; we shall both win. In this way, we can both continue to find satisfaction. Ours can be a healthy relationship, in which we can both realize our greatest potentials. And we can keep a solid relationship, based on mutual respect, love and serenity.
Mooi gedachtengoed, nietwaar? En soms moet je nog duidelijker zijn: “Either lead, follow or get out of the way…”